In Transit

One of the most difficult aspects so far of parenting a child with hearing loss, is figuring out how to get her on schedule, when one’s schedule is different every day. As I write this, Sonya is trying to fall asleep in her crib, but I know I will need to wake her in just 30 minutes so that we can get out the door in time for speech therapy downtown.

Three days a week I shlep Sonya to the Center for Hearing and Communication an hour commute each way. One day a week we have an in-home therapist. In New York City, such a commute is no easy feat. Getting out the door with a baby is always complicated. Add hailing a cab or Uber; maneuvering NYC traffic from the Upper West Side to Financial District within an hour; unloading the car seat; attaching the stroller; wheeling Sonya into Gregory’s Coffee (my vice!) and finally opening the extremely heavy bronze doors of 50 Broadway…it can be a bit much at times.

On good days, Sonya will take the hour ride as an opportunity to nap – leaving her refreshed for her speech therapy session. Other days, she needs to be entertained. I have tried books, toys but of course – I now just give her my iPhone. She watches Baby Einstein, HBO Classical Baby and Netflix story books. She also loves playing Peek-a-Boo Farm, Peek-A-Boo Wild, Peek-A-Boo Trick or Treat and Peek-a-Boo Fridge. I can almost see other parents cringe as they read this, but for us – the videos just help. She is interested and has even learned new words.

And thankfully, New Yorkers have also been extremely helpful. It’s not advertised as a trait amongst this population, but it is true. Someone always helps me. As I struggle to open the door, a passerby inevitably jumps out of his or her way to assist. The other morning, while trying to navigate across Broadway to get into an Uber, a kind man literally stopped traffic to help Sonya and I cross the street.

Of course, it could be worse. We are extremely lucky that the Deaf Infant Program at the Center for Hearing and Communication covers the bulk of our transportation costs, and these costs add up fast. A trip to the CHC and back to our apartment on the UWS can cost between  $60 – $120 per day, depending on traffic – as much as $360 per week! New York State’s Early Intervention Program used to cover transportation, but that is no longer the case as of recently. This means that  parents of children who have hearing loss, but who were not born deaf as was the case with Sonya, are not covered for transport!

It’s something I think about every day on our way to therapy. I think about it when I cancel play dates because Sonya is getting a rare nap at home and not in the car and I don’t want to disturb her. And I think about it again today as I get ready to wake up my sleeping baby in order to make it to CHC on time.

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Have Baby (with CIs) Must Travel (with CIs)

When I notified friends and family that we were planning a trip to the Amalfi Coast this summer, several people voiced their concerns. “A vacation is not a vacation with a baby – it’s just a trip,” one friend told me. “You aren’t going to sleep because the baby won’t get used to the time difference. Above all – you won’t be able to enjoy your vacation!” Another friend told me that we should not go this year because of Sonya’s surgery. “She could get an ear infection,” she warned “And then you would be in a foreign country with a foreign hospital and foreign doctors!” These concerns had an impact on me. Rather than feel excited about our trip, I increasingly felt anxious.

Prior to leaving, I consulted with our team of speech therapists, audiologists and surgeons. The overall consensus was that we should ABSOLUTELY travel with Sonya. “You need to take time for yourselves and enjoy being a family,” our EI service coordinator wisely told me.

For two and-a-half weeks, we toured Amalfi, Capri and Positano, Italy. It was not an easy trip (especially given that most of these towns were not stroller friendly) – however – it was one of the BEST trips I have ever been on and I know I will cherish the memories we made for the rest of my life.  That said, traveling with a baby is difficult. Traveling with a baby who has cochlear implants (I think) is even more challenging – so here is a list of tips that I hope others in our situation will find helpful!

Forget the stroller – bring a baby carrier instead: Note – this tip is particular to the Southern coast of Italy where the streets are typically paved with cobblestone and cities are built into the hills with hundreds of stairs. The stroller was most helpful in the airport – but aside from that time, we didn’t really need it at all and it collected dust in our hotel room. We used the Ergo Original Baby Carrier – which was comfortable and very easy to use.

We also decided NOT to bring a baby backpack. Lots of people recommended we do so – and we even borrowed one from a friend before our trip. We finally decided against it since we were bringing so much stuff already. We didn’t miss it.

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Enjoying the view in Positano, Italy

Get on a schedule as soon as you can (but be flexible): This proved critical for acclimating to the time change. Our schedule revolved around three nap times (one mid morning, one early afternoon and one before dinner). We also kept Sonya from sleeping more than two hours per nap, to help her get used to the time change. It only took two days for her to adjust.

Of course it wasn’t possible to be strict about the schedule either. A few nights, we kept Sonya out  so that we could enjoy dinner with family. It made me nervous to do this, but we allowed her to sleep in the next day – and I didn’t notice much of an issue in terms of her happiness when we did this occasionally.

Bring extra batteries (battery powered and rechargeable) for CIs: We brought two extra pairs of CI batteries that were rechargeable and two extra pair of batteries that were battery operated, to ensure that we wouldn’t need to disrupt Sonya’s ability to hear. I suggest packing batteries in at least two different containers just in case one gets lost.

Bring the waterproof kit/waterproof box for processors/coils: Every day we spent several hours at the pool or beach or on a boat. We (dumbly) decided not to bring the waterproof kit. I wish we had. That said, It is also a good idea to bring the waterproof storage box regardless just in case.

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Embrace cultural differences: Italians are the warmest people. They also LOVE babies. It seemed like every Italian we passed would look at Sonya and call out “bellissimo!” “principessa!”  or “bombola!” Many would go so far as to pinch her cheeks or hold her hand. At first I grimaced when this happened. But, eventually just accepted the fact that strangers were touching Sonya – and it was okay. Once I embraced this difference, I realized how lovely the Italian culture really is. So warm and affectionate! We Americans can be so cold sometimes…

Sonya and Sergio - a Porter at the hotel we stayed at in Amalfi
Sonya and Sergio – a Porter at the hotel we stayed at in Amalfi

Integrate speech therapy games into your vacation: One game that worked especially well was the “go go” game. In the pool, I would hold Sonya while Yan was a few yards away. Yan would repeat Sonya’s name until she turned herself to look at him (helping her to recognize her name). Once she saw her dad, Yan and I would both say “go! go! go!” as I gently bopped her in the water towards him. Then we repeated with Yan holding Sonya and me saying her name.

Now that Sonya can crawl, another game we played involved placing two different farm animals within crawling distance of Sonya. I would ask her, “which one says moo?” Sonya then would crawl (sometimes!) towards the cow. Sonya’s Ba Baba Lillian bought us these awesome farm animals, which double as pool toys. She loved them.

Bring your parents – if you can!: I would be remiss not to add that we did have Yan’s parents and sister at a hotel nearby. They were the most wonderful support while in Europe, and even watched Sonya a few nights so Yan and I could get some time away or visit places that were just not kid-friendly (e.g. Pompei). I think Sonya especially enjoyed having them there so that she could get that additional time to bond. A win-win!!

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Sonya and me with her Deda Eugene and Baba Lillian in Maiori, Italy