This post follows an earlier post On Music in which I discuss how we are approaching music education for Sonya.
Sonya points to her ears when she hears Yan practice piano. “Ee!” she says, meaning “I hear it!”
This afternoon as Sonya napped, I did something I hadn’t done in a long while, I listened to music for fun. As Radiohead’s Separator played, I concentrated on the first dense and complicated beat, which in its second half drops into a gorgeous guitar melody. It’s impossible to describe. I want you to listen to it. It suddenly hit me that Sonya may never love it as I do.* It might not be something I can share with her when she is older and it pains me to think that.
Music used to play an enormous role in my life. My dad plays the piano and guitar. To avoid having to clean up after dinner as a kid, I would sit in the rocking chair in our living room and listen to him play. I wanted to be like him so I took up the instrument too, and then, in high school, the guitar. In college, I continued to study classical piano, folk music, pop, alternative rock and (a bit embarrassed as I write this) underground/old school hip hop.
This changed once I knew Sonya was deaf. When we incorporate music into our playtimes, we do so purposefully in order to help Sonya understand how to listen. For example, rather than just enjoy a song in the background, we play the song, dance to it, and then stop the music to help Sonya understand to listen for sound. Months ago, (to my naive delight) Sonya would dance to what I believe was music in her head. Now she knows that she must hear music aloud to dance. She will now point at the computer when she wants to hear it.
We also refrain from having music on in the background, as background noise can make it more difficult for people with hearing loss to perceive speech sounds.
I miss music but I also must remember that I don’t have a crystal ball. We don’t know whether Sonya will appreciate it when she is older. We don’t even know what she is hearing. She may hear the overall theme or rhythm, but she might miss the oftentimes subtle moments that make music so pleasurable.
For now, Sonya certainly appears to love it. Whenever Yan has a moment to practice piano, Sonya runs to living room pointing to her ears and shouting “EE!” her sign for “I hear it!”
*I do realize this might be the case regardless of Sonya’s hearing loss. Yan also hates Radiohead 🙂
I am embarrassed to admit it, but it wasn’t until a couple months ago that Sonya finally began to wear her waterproof cochlear implants in the bath.
Sonya’s first bath at one week
Since we are in and out of Ubers and speech therapy sessions almost every day, taking a nightly bath has always felt like a necessity, and a frustrating one at that. Sonya kicks and screams her way in and out of the water. On our part, the goal has always been to complete the task quickly as possible.
When I told our speech therapist that Sonya had not yet been exposed to sound in the bath, her eyes widened. “How could you not let her wear her devices?! Bath time is a critical opportunity for her to explore sound!”
Cochlear Nucleus 6 water proof sleeves
It was the prompt I needed to get our act together. I dug through the contents of Sonya’s cochlear implant suitcases to find the water proof kit. We placed her processors inside the water proof sleeves (a bit tricky to do actually…) inserted the coils and magnets. We placed them on Sonya’s ears. Since the waterproof sleeves are quite large, we had to use the full-sized batteries (not the compact batteries, which fit Sonya’s small head). Sonya is back to her headbands in order to hold the very large devices in place.
The first time she heard water, Sonya just stared blankly. Perhaps she was stunned as she realized that water made noise. I playfully splashed her, causing her to scream in surprise.
Since then, Sonya has grown slightly more accustomed to bath time, though she still doesn’t love it. I even feel like I have to be careful about how loudly I speak in the bath, as the echo can be too much for her. I have noticed that she hates it when I dip her head in the bath water with the implants on. Perhaps it is the sound of the water that is overwhelming. Sonya does love bubbles, so I try to make sure there are plenty of bubbles in her bath water to keep her calm and interested. We do struggle with other ways of keeping her calm however.
Thankfully, friends of mine have been eager to help. My lovely friend Jane bought Sonya Tomy Do Rae Mi Dolphins. Each dolphin plays a different note when you tap them on their heads. Sonya loves them.
While I realize I need to expose Sonya to additional toys to encourage her to hear new sounds, I hesitate. Bath toys in general gross me out (these water flutes look kinda interesting, but also kinda yucky…). When Sonya was younger, we had her play with a rubber duck in the bath. The type that squirted water. A few weeks later, I realized how disgusting this toy was. Impossible to clean and never totally dry. I shudder thinking about the one time I squeezed it and brown water came out….
But I will attempt to stay open minded and to try other (sanitary!) toys that may be recommended….. Anyone? 🙂
In the meantime, hoping to make the most of bath time!
A few weekends ago we celebrated Sonya’s first birthday! In preparation for the big day, I assembled a photo album highlighting my favorite photos over the past year. As I reviewed Sonya’s amazing growth and development, I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles that appeared under Yan and my eyes.
Sonya has been alive an entire year and we have not slept through the night since.
Early days, when I thought EVENTUALLY I would sleep. How silly I was…
We used to put Sonya down wearing her cochlear implants. She is very connected to the hearing world, and would get upset when suddenly her sound was disrupted. But that decision reversed itself when I recently came into her room only to find her SUCKING on the battery! She had figured out how to remove it from the processor. I am trying not to imagine a scenario in which she swallowed it.
I needed a solution. I decided that maybe she would be comforted by something to look at. I decided the perfect spot would be above her crib. I purchased adorable animal “wall trophies” from Hannah Andersson. We bought a unicorn, bunny, swan, zebra, elephant, sheep, reindeer and fox (when you are sleep deprived, you have trouble making decisions I have learned).
We hung them up as soon as we could. I loved the way they looked. But that night, Sonya freaked out. Perhaps it was the shadows of the animals at night hovering above her. Maybe she wondered where the rest of their bodies had gone…It was the worst night sleep in a long while.
So (thanks to a wonderful suggestion by our speech therapist) I purchased the Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother. I am telling you – this product is amazing. As soon as I put her down in the crib, Sonya points at the aquarium, asking for me to turn it on for her. She smiles and laughs as soon as she sees the lights turn on and fish, crab, octopus and sea turtle begin to dance. She then turns to her side to watch the soft lights that look like ocean waves on her mattress. The combination of lights and movement seems to be enough stimulation to satisfy her. She doesn’t seem to miss not hearing.
While great, it’s not a perfect solution. Sonya has learned how to adjust the settings which are on the top of the machine, and she uses it to wake us. In the middle of the night, when Sonya wakes up, she turns the machine on to full volume. I hear Chopin’s second Nocturne and then the sound of Sonya, singing “mama! mama!”
Now it is a beautiful sound to hear my child – who was born with profound hearing loss – to say my name, but less so when I hear it every three hours until I get her, every single night.
I know I am not the only parent in the world to suffer from sleep deprivation. I also realize we can do something about it – a.k.a. sleep training. Which we have tried – and failed at – numerous times in the past. And I know eventually we will stick to it, and it will be better.
Until then, look forward to reading any comments or suggestions you may have at midnight., 3 a.m. and probably around 6 a.m. tomorrow morning 🙂
Earlier this week, Sonya had a terrible therapy session. When presented with a toy, she refused to engage. Rather, she turned her body toward the shelves of other toys pointing and grunting. Not this toy, that one! she seemed to want to say. But nothing satisfied her. It was apparent that she was frustrated and we were too.
During our hour-long drive back from the therapy session, I felt as if I were the one who had failed. I should have made better sure that Sonya was well rested. I should have taken the time to make her a green smoothie this morning (the only way to get Sonya to ingest any vegetable is to hide it in a sweet fruit smoothie). I should have done a better job parenting her, and it was being reflected in her ability to acquire speech.
Sonya took a three plus hour nap that day – highly unusual for her. That evening, she picked herself off the floor and started to cruise around her nursery. She has been doing this for some time, but today she strutted with such confidence. She held on to one of our wooden cube trunks (which I am replacing, by the way, as they are not baby safe – so let me know if you want them!) with one hand waving in the air.
Sometimes she makes it the entire way around beaming with pride. Other times, she trips over her own feet and drops to her knees. On a couple of occasions she has flipped over backwards and landed smack on her head. It is equally exhilarating and terrifying for me to watch. I try not to think about her hitting her head where the CIs are implanted. I want to catch her before any fall, but it seems impossible. But I know that she can/will do it. I have confidence in her abilities when it comes to walking.
I am trying to translate this confidence into Sonya’s speech work as well. I know that not every therapy session will be great. But over time, she will learn and improve. Her falling is not necessarily my failing.
On a side note, we recently celebrated Sonya’s first birthday! What a year it has been. Sonya had the best time. She received numerous baby dolls and books – her favorite things. We feel so blessed to have had the amazing support this past year from friends and family. 🙂 ❤
The B sound continues to be difficult for Sonya. She confuses B and D, saying “dye dye” rather than “bye bye.” In fact, she uses the D sound to say most words. Pointing to my shirt she looks up at me and asks, “da?”
“That’s a button.”
“duttah“ Sonya says.
According to our speech therapist, such confusion is common among children with hearing loss as both D and B are high frequency sounds, and can be difficult to discriminate initially.
While Da reigns supreme, Sonya definitely knows how to use the B sound. She said banana one time at lunch. She said buh buh for bubbles on numerous occasions. She refers to Yan’s mom as Baba, and turns toward our computer screen to look for her, as we typically FaceTime once a week with her.
While it is clear that Sonya’s understanding of words continues to grow, I have noticed that she seems quieter lately. At therapy this week, she made few sounds. She would point at the toys she wished to play with, rather than vocalize her want. She would grunt or whine when she didn’t get her way. It is discouraging to see this after several weeks of clear growth.
While she makes fewer sounds, she moves with greater ease and loves to dance!
In fact, Sonya’s physical development may be the underlying factor. Sonya is now actively cruising. It started a couple weeks ago during an in-home therapy session. We were sitting on the floor of the nursery as usual, when our speech therapist asked if Sonya had started walking around our apartment by holding on to furniture yet. While Sonya had pulled herself to stand weeks ago, she hesitated to move further. While every baby moves at their own speed, Sonya may also have been reading into my own fears about her moving around our apartment. I flinch every time she loses her balance. I grab her just before she falls (although she still manages to sport some bruises on her forehead from crawling too quickly on slick wooden floors). Our speech therapist showed us ways to help Sonya learn to cruise in a safe environment, between the couch and coffee tables in her nursery. Now Sonya crawls up to that area and pulls herself up, then steps from couch to table. Her face beams with pride.
As her brain focuses on perfecting this new milestone, it is not that surprising that her speech development will be placed on the back burner momentarily.
In the meantime, I will try to enjoy this moment of quiet focus.
I believe this week was a turning point for Sonya. On Monday, Sonya watched our speech therapist with such focus as the therapist made the “la la la” sound, that even our therapist was surprised. Sonya moved her tongue back and forth, trying to understand how to emulate that sound. The “la la” game is one we play all the time these days. Sonya loves her little baby doll and will pretend it is her baby as she rocks it and sings to it. Our goal is for her to associate her baby with the sound “la la.”
On Thursday, however, Sonya was in no mood for speech therapy. It had been a long trek that morning down the CHC. Traffic on the West Side Highway was terrible. Sonya hates her car seat and complained the entire time. The only way I can soothe her these days is to put on Elmo’s World. She shouts with delight and shakes her fists wildly as soon as she realizes it is on. She even emulates Elmo’s laugh. I realize that I am the biggest hypocrite as I always judged parents who would stick videos in front of their kids to keep them quiet. But when you are stuck in an Uber for 50 minutes, and your baby is screaming her head off, Elmo’s World is a God send. I used to have a 5.0 rating with Uber. Almost unheard of. Sonya is quickly changing that.
Once we arrived to therapy, Sonya was very quiet. Her attention span was much shorter than usual, and for some reason, each time our speech therapist said the word “yes” Sonya would burst into tears. We couldn’t figure out why. But that night, while Sonya was fighting us putting her to sleep, she erupted with her first word “DADA!” She even pointed at Yan while she said it (although sometimes she points at her stuffed lion…) But it was the most amazing sound. I will never forget it. I caught it on camera the next day.
And while I was just slightly jealous she said “DADA” not “MAMA,” I can only blame myself. I recently bought the book “Your Baby’s First Word Will Be DADA” given the many farm animal sounds in it.
Over the weekend, Sonya has consistently produced the “DA” sound, the “GUH” sound and the “NAH” sound. We can tell she is listening better too. She always smiles when you whisper her name and will listen and follow directions even when Yan is playing piano quite loudly in the background.
Such incredible progress this week and so proud of my girl.
When Yan and I used to discuss having and raising kids, we knew music education would be a given. Both former musicians (Yan plays piano and I used to play piano and acoustic guitar), music is what brought us together. On our second date, Yan made me lunch and then played me a Chopin Etude.
But we disagreed on how we would pass our love of music on to our children. I would suggest introducing them to all sorts of musical genres. Classical, jazz, pop, whatever. Let the child decide what they enjoyed and how they would incorporate it into their life. Yan on the other hand had a different view. “Chain them to the piano!” he would say in a joking (but not really joking) way.
We even bought a grand piano a few years ago. It takes up a significant amount of real estate in our New York City apartment, and forced us to forego having a TV.
Sonya “listening” to Yan playing piano as an infant. She also might just be enjoying the vibrations that complemented her already vibrating bouncy chair.
“Actually, it could be great.” Yan told me. “I will be able to practice at night and she won’t even notice!”
Yet, this also was not the case. Despite the fact that Sonya had hearing loss, she could feel the vibrations of the six foot-long instrument just fine. Yan’s interpretation of the Russian Romantics was enough to wake her (and many others in our building) from any sleep.
So the question of whether Sonya will appreciate music has haunted me. It is something I always ask older kids with implants. Trying to understand how they understand music through the prism of their deafness, I ask them simply whether they like to listen to music, and whether they play any instruments? So far, the response has been mixed. Some kids say they love music (typically pop or hip hop) but they would not want to listen to orchestral music. Others say they read the lyrics, but do not remember melodies. It is not something they participate in unless they have to. Disheartening to say the least.
While I have read that the newest devices (Sonya has the Nucleus 6 device by Cochlear) are much more sophisticated when it comes to hearing music than their predecessors, we will never really know what Sonya hears when she listens. We can try to emulate what it is like to hear electronically – as in a recent NPR story, which offers accounts of people who have cochlear implants and what music sounds like to them, but we will never know for sure. Interestingly, in the comments section of this story, even those with cochlear implants do not agree on what they actually hear. One commentator wrote, “Fascinating, but I’m not sure that I agree. I have cochlear implants in both ears. I could hear the differences in all of the clips, and the ones that are supposed to sound like CIs don’t sound like what I hear.”
For the time being, I will continue to encourage Sonya to experiment with music. She recently received a glockenspiel – which she seems to enjoy, though she also just loves to hit things with mallets, so I can’t be sure she is actually appreciating the sound she is producing. Ultimately, Yan and I may have to accept that our child will not touch the piano that sits in our living room, and that is okay.
Update: Sonya recently has taken interest in watching Yan play piano. I overheard them playing together recently and quickly caught it on camera. I think it is brilliant. She seems to play the right notes at the right times! Yan, however, says pure coincidence. Haha. In any case, we agreed it is adorable:
Sonya was recently referred to as a “cute little cyborg.” Yan, who considers Star Trek: The Next Generation “a documentary,” absolutely welcomed the moniker. And why not…. I mean, the fact is, she is a cyborg. According to Oxford, because of her cochlear implants, Sonya’s abilities “are extended beyond normal human limitations by mechanical elements built into the body.”
And I can see why people who wear cochlear implants may embrace the term cyborg to identify themselves. When Sonya was diagnosed with hearing loss, my brother sent me an article written by Michael Chorost, who proudly refers to himself as a “Cochlear Cyborg.” Born with profound hearing loss that grew worse over time, Michael chronicled his relentless pursuit to make himself hear a rendition of the famous musical piece “Bolero” by Ravel, through cochlear implant mappings and upgrades. The last sentence of his article was particularly moving to me: “My hearing is no longer limited by the physical circumstances of my body,” he writes. “While my friends’ ears will inevitably decline with age, mine will only get better.”
While it seemed like an obvious goal for us that we would want Sonya to learn to listen and speak and be part of our society, interestingly, a number of other parents we have met through speech therapy are heading in a different direction for their children. One mom I met, who now has a two-year-old with cochlear implants, refers to her child as “a deaf person who can hear.” After much work (and becoming immersed in ASL herself) her child is now fluent in English, American Sign Language as well as a couple other languages (clearly a very intelligent child!)
I certainly respect and see the wisdom behind such a decision. At night, when Sonya is not wearing her implants, I often wonder how we will communicate with her when she is older – when she has a nightmare or needs something. Sign language would certainly be useful in such a situation.
But I still believe we should focus on English first – as learning sign might interfere with Sonya’s ability to learn oral language (as children who are deaf may rely on sign if it is a tool at their disposal, as it is easier for them).
Ultimately, Sonya will be the one to determine how she chooses to identify herself – be it cyborg or whatever. And I suppose I just have to accept this. Sonya was born deaf. She may in fact in the future decide to learn ASL and join the deaf community. But for the time being, while I have some sway, I will do everything in my power to ensure that she has the opportunities available to her in our society first and foremost.
When I notified friends and family that we were planning a trip to the Amalfi Coast this summer, several people voiced their concerns. “A vacation is not a vacation with a baby – it’s just a trip,” one friend told me. “You aren’t going to sleep because the baby won’t get used to the time difference. Above all – you won’t be able to enjoy your vacation!” Another friend told me that we should not go this year because of Sonya’s surgery. “She could get an ear infection,” she warned “And then you would be in a foreign country with a foreign hospital and foreign doctors!” These concerns had an impact on me. Rather than feel excited about our trip, I increasingly felt anxious.
Prior to leaving, I consulted with our team of speech therapists, audiologists and surgeons. The overall consensus was that we should ABSOLUTELY travel with Sonya. “You need to take time for yourselves and enjoy being a family,” our EI service coordinator wisely told me.
For two and-a-half weeks, we toured Amalfi, Capri and Positano, Italy. It was not an easy trip (especially given that most of these towns were not stroller friendly) – however – it was one of the BEST trips I have ever been on and I know I will cherish the memories we made for the rest of my life. That said, traveling with a baby is difficult. Traveling with a baby who has cochlear implants (I think) is even more challenging – so here is a list of tips that I hope others in our situation will find helpful!
Forget the stroller – bring a baby carrier instead: Note – this tip is particular to the Southern coast of Italy where the streets are typically paved with cobblestone and cities are built into the hills with hundreds of stairs. The stroller was most helpful in the airport – but aside from that time, we didn’t really need it at all and it collected dust in our hotel room. We used the Ergo Original Baby Carrier – which was comfortable and very easy to use.
We also decided NOT to bring a baby backpack. Lots of people recommended we do so – and we even borrowed one from a friend before our trip. We finally decided against it since we were bringing so much stuff already. We didn’t miss it.
Enjoying the view in Positano, Italy
Get on a schedule as soon as you can (but be flexible): This proved critical for acclimating to the time change. Our schedule revolved around three nap times (one mid morning, one early afternoon and one before dinner). We also kept Sonya from sleeping more than two hours per nap, to help her get used to the time change. It only took two days for her to adjust.
Of course it wasn’t possible to be strict about the schedule either. A few nights, we kept Sonya out so that we could enjoy dinner with family. It made me nervous to do this, but we allowed her to sleep in the next day – and I didn’t notice much of an issue in terms of her happiness when we did this occasionally.
Bring extra batteries (battery powered and rechargeable) for CIs: We brought two extra pairs of CI batteries that were rechargeable and two extra pair of batteries that were battery operated, to ensure that we wouldn’t need to disrupt Sonya’s ability to hear. I suggest packing batteries in at least two different containers just in case one gets lost.
Bring the waterproof kit/waterproof box for processors/coils: Every day we spent several hours at the pool or beach or on a boat. We (dumbly) decided not to bring the waterproof kit. I wish we had. That said, It is also a good idea to bring the waterproof storage box regardless just in case.
Embrace cultural differences: Italians are the warmest people. They also LOVE babies. It seemed like every Italian we passed would look at Sonya and call out “bellissimo!” “principessa!” or “bombola!” Many would go so far as to pinch her cheeks or hold her hand. At first I grimaced when this happened. But, eventually just accepted the fact that strangers were touching Sonya – and it was okay. Once I embraced this difference, I realized how lovely the Italian culture really is. So warm and affectionate! We Americans can be so cold sometimes…
Sonya and Sergio – a Porter at the hotel we stayed at in Amalfi
Integrate speech therapy games into your vacation: One game that worked especially well was the “go go” game. In the pool, I would hold Sonya while Yan was a few yards away. Yan would repeat Sonya’s name until she turned herself to look at him (helping her to recognize her name). Once she saw her dad, Yan and I would both say “go! go! go!” as I gently bopped her in the water towards him. Then we repeated with Yan holding Sonya and me saying her name.
Now that Sonya can crawl, another game we played involved placing two different farm animals within crawling distance of Sonya. I would ask her, “which one says moo?” Sonya then would crawl (sometimes!) towards the cow. Sonya’s Ba Baba Lillian bought us these awesome farm animals, which double as pool toys. She loved them.
Bring your parents – if you can!: I would be remiss not to add that we did have Yan’s parents and sister at a hotel nearby. They were the most wonderful support while in Europe, and even watched Sonya a few nights so Yan and I could get some time away or visit places that were just not kid-friendly (e.g. Pompei). I think Sonya especially enjoyed having them there so that she could get that additional time to bond. A win-win!!
Sonya and me with her Deda Eugene and Baba Lillian in Maiori, Italy
Over the past few weeks, Sonya has made leaps in terms of her development. It seems like just yesterday she was a tiny bundle. Today, she officially started to crawl! I know our life is about to change drastically, but it is so exciting to see her make such great progress.
Sonya at one weekSonya last week as a flower girl at her Aunt Mariana’s wedding – such a big girl!!
On the language front, Sonya is hearing and responding to sound much differently than just a few weeks ago. While in the beginning we were struggling to get her to simply notice/hear a loud sound, she has lately been emulating the sounds we make. This morning, for example, as I offered her some eggs, Sonya responded with “aye” the first sound in the word! Like many babies her age, she has started to do simple hand gestures like lifting her arms when she wants me to pick her up, but on occasion I have heard her say “uh!” for “up!” Interestingly, Sonya refuses to go to sleep unless she is wearing her implants. I carefully remove them as soon as she is in a deep sleep. She must be feeling very connected to the hearing world.
The Center for Hearing and Communication recently posted a terrific video where you can watch a brief moment from one of Sonya’s speech therapy sessions. Note – this took place several weeks ago – and I can already see the progress that has been made since that time – but it does give you a sense of the type of work we are doing with her amazing team of speech pathologists:
These days, I am feeling much better in general about Sonya’s well being. The implants themselves – which initially were difficult for me to see her with – have become such a part of Sonya that I don’t notice them at all. And when I do, I think they look rather cute. It brings to mind a poem that was sent to me by Shayna De Lowe, our cantor at Congregation Rodeph Sholom – and the mother of a son who also has bilateral cochlear implants. Cantor De Lowe has been an amazing support to me and my family. She also has an excellent blog focusing on her family’s experience here.
Prior to Sonya’s surgery, Cantor De Lowe sent me the below poem, which I love and re-read when needed.
Welcome to Holland … by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.
Hearing Sonya Rose 
